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Wise Men, Fools, and Silence
Here is the situation. You are sitting in the car and you have a long ride home from college with a person of the opposite sex, whom you barely know from one of your classes. It is winter break and you were desperate to get home, hence the reason you asked this person you have only talked to three times if you could hitch a ride home with them (they happen to live only twenty minutes from your hometown). The two of you have been driving for thirty minutes and you have exhausted all conversation on how finals went and what kind of teacher Professor Langheart is. At this point in time, several things can happen.
The rest of the ride home is going to be filled with awkward silences, where you laugh at offhand comments because it seems polite to do so.
Or the silence is replaced with endless talk by one of you who fears awkward silence more than prattle.
Or the two of you have intelligent conversation and moments of comfortable silence the rest of the trip.
The last is preferable, but it rarely happens. Most of us have been in situations where the silence seemed to stretch on like a mad itch. We are tempted to say anything, even if it is dumb, just to break the silence.
And more than one of us has been on a date or with a group of friends and had the new person just talk non-stop, even riding over what others in the group were saying. They always have a response, or worse yet a story or experience that trumps what has just been said. It may even get so bad that you feeling like saying the proverb, better to be silent and be thought wise, than to speak and prove yourself a fool.
I think sometimes we are afraid of the silence.
I recently walked through the levels of our local mall. I was people watching as much as I was window shopping. I noticed that nearly half the people that were shopping alone, came out of a store and immediately pulled out their cell phone. They checked for text messages or missed calls. Many dialed a number and started talking. “Hi! Oh, I’m just shopping…”
It seemed that many did not want to walk through the mall by themselves, with only their thoughts for company. So instead they picked up their phones and connected with someone, and talked about what they had just bought.
I have always thought cell phones were fantastic advances in technology. There are so many times I need to make a business call. So many times I need to set up an appointment or call home and see if I need to stop by the store on the way. So many times I wanted to see what was up with my buddy. Cell phones have encouraged us to talk, to communicate, to connect.
However, I think the more we talk, the less we hear. And the less we hear of what is going on inside ourselves. The less we are able to listen to what others are feeling, rather than saying. Perhaps silence frightens us because in the silence far more important things are said. Or perhaps we have become seduced by a culture that demands we be busy all the time.
But then again, maybe someday I will take my own advice, or heed the proverb, and post a blank page.
© Seth Crossman
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